5 Ways To Deal With Hurt Feelings And Learn To Let Go Of The Pain.

No one teaches you how to deal with what directly hurts you. You may have always heard “You must not cry”, “Time heals everything”, “It passes”… but none of these phrases helped you. On the contrary, they make you feel worse. Therefore, we decided to suggest 5 ways to deal with hurt feelings in this article.

Ignoring your hurt feelings is not an option. The feeling needs a direct confrontation, even if it hurts. You have to confront it so that it does not continue for many years.

Learn to get rid of hurt feelings

For this you only need a pencil or other small object that does not break. Hold it in your hand and squeeze it hard, as hard as possible. Now imagine that the object is your feelings, your thoughts or the person who hurt you.

To begin with, squeezing the object will be uncomfortable. But then it will end up hurting your hand. When this happens, release the object that you have visualized as the one that hurt you and let it fall to the ground. Notice how you were able to let go. The same thing happens with all the emotions or people who have hurt you. You can get rid of them.

When we hold on to certain situations, we perceive them as if they are already a part of us, even if they hurt, and we are not aware that it is us who choose to suffer. However, you can let go at any time.

2. Think about how you talk to yourself

The second way to deal with hurt feelings will help you understand how to talk to yourself. You may think you are doing it in a positive way, but you will be surprised when you discover that you are using more negative phrases and thoughts than you ever imagined. To better understand this we will give you an example.

Imagine that you are in the fitness center and that someone is starting a conversation with you. When you said goodbye the other person replied “I was happy to talk to you” and it took you a while to respond. You get a little nervous and answer “Same here” a little apprehensively. On the way to the dressing room, you can stop thinking about how stupid you were and how silly you are when talking to other people.

Being aware of these situations is an important thing. Is it positive to stand in front of a mirror and say to yourself “What were you thinking?”? You will realize how much you are knocking your own self-esteem down again and again without being aware of it.

3. Anchor yourself in the present

Another way to deal with hurt feelings is to anchor yourself in the present. You have most likely heard of the mindfulness technique. It can help you stay in the present and forget the past and the future for a moment, as this is where you experience pain.

Choose something you want to experience during the week. For example, on Monday: how you breathe, on Tuesday: how your feet step on the ground, on Wednesday: how water flows on your skin when you wash your hands or take a shower… Do the same for the rest of the week. This will help you appreciate the little things you do and allow you to get rid of the things that hurt you.

Holding on to the things that hurt us prevents us from enjoying the little things we do, because it’s all about the pain that we can get rid of at any time.

4. Put yourself in the worst situation

The fourth way to deal with hurt feelings allows you to take the drama out of the situations that make you suffer. Many times, emotions overshadow perception in such a way that it seems like everything is awful. Therefore, you should try to put yourself in the worst possible situation.

Imagine that you and your partner are divorcing. You hold on to a relationship that hurts you and it’s hard for you to bring it to an end. Sometimes the decision you have to make is clear to you, but fear paralyzes you and prevents you from acting. Even if it is difficult, put yourself in the worst possible situation.

What is the worst thing that can happen? Maybe being alone, being different from the rest of your friends by not having a partner… We suggest you write down all these difficult situations, but do not be dramatic. You will thus realize that many of the things you choose are not that serious.

For each answer, try to state reasons why you would be hurt. In some cases, you will see that you are not getting a sensible answer. In others, you will become aware that while it is true that a situation can hurt, it is that you hold on to it that is exactly what makes you suffer.

5. An essential question

Sticking to what is causing pain will make you suffer. Therefore, all the ways to deal with the hurt feelings we have mentioned can give you a better understanding of everything that is happening to you and thus help you make a better decision.

Finally, the last way consists only of an essential question. What would you say to someone who went through the same thing you do? Put yourself in the situation that it is your brother or a friend who is in the same situation as you. The answer to the question you have asked yourself will apply to yourself. This question can help you open your eyes.

We tend to hold on to pain, which causes it to turn into suffering. The irony is that we can get rid of it whenever we want, but to achieve this we need to be aware of what we are doing. How many times have you stuck to what hurts you? How did you overcome it?