How I Became Obsessive-compulsive

No matter how strange it may seem, one day I decided to experience in my body and brain all the symptoms one of my patients was suffering from . He had been diagnosed as obsessive-compulsive. This would give me a chance to know and understand him better. It would also allow me to put myself in his shoes in a more precise way. It would help me become more empathetic.

In the text you will read below, I will explain what to do in order not to develop an obsessive-compulsive disorder. It may make you smile or laugh a few times. This article can also give you some important points, in order not to develop such a disease.

But… what is an obsessive-compulsive? Obsessive compulsive personality is defined as a global pattern of concerns regarding order, perfection, and mental and interpersonal control, completely sacrificing its flexibility, desire, and efficiency.

Objectives to strive to become obsessive-compulsive

To become obsessively compulsive, I had to search for information on what kind of things I needed to change about my personality. Until now, I was a little nervous, but nothing out of the ordinary. When I first started, the first thing I did was analyze the traits that defined a person as obsessive. Thus, I searched for information in psychology books and this is what I found. If I wanted to be good at being obsessive, I would have to do the following:

• I worry about details, rules, lists, etc. in a disproportionate way.

• Being such a perfectionist that it interferes with the performance of my tasks.
• Dedicate an excessive amount of devotion to my job. Exclude interpersonal relationships and leisure activities of any kind.
• Be extremely conscientious, careful and inflexible.
• Be unable to throw away used, worthless or insignificant items.
• Do not delegate tasks or work to others without making them aware of my way of doing things.
• Adopt a terrible style with myself and others.
• Become very stiff and stubborn.

Planting the seed to become obsessive-compulsive

The first thing I did was convince myself that I was perfect and superior to everyone else. This belief would lead me to an unhappy and painful life, but the moral benefit of being superior to others was enough to compensate for it. Being the youngest child actually helps a lot. The child who never messed up and who had everyone’s love and admiration . I was used to, from a very early age, knowing what to do to achieve perfection.

I also had to be very careful with the decisions I had made. I always had to take into account and compare all the factors and consequences, so as not to make the wrong decisions. The only problem was that I had to think long before I made a decision. This would make me rarely choose or do it at strange times. But this is where the cornerstone of being obsessive-compulsive lies.

When you think too much before making a decision, this is where an obsessive compulsive path begins.

I especially had to learn to control my emotions : not to cry or laugh, not to manifest any kind of hostility, not to show fear and never externalize what I wanted. I could not be struck by the “ pleasures of the skin,” and the best thing was to hide my desires in a place where I could not even access them. Thus, it was better to imagine all the diseases I could develop, count to a hundred over and over again, do everything I could to distract myself, or even do the opposite of what I really wanted.

Routine, guilt and cleanliness

Routine should be a part of every aspect of my life. I discovered that I could not spend a day without it. To acquire dexterity, I collected the most diverse collections, whether it was stamps, coins, pots, or just pieces of paper covered in lines. I have always had tasks to perform and get chances of losing control. Perfection was within reach, amazing

Guilt is another feeling I can handle masterfully. It became so important to me that I did everything I could to avoid it. If I did something wrong, I thought about it and analyzed it a hundred times to make sure I was right. Who would not feel guilty for their honor, devotion, rigor, competence and generally… their perfection?

A truly obsessive compulsive person does not throw anything away. They keep everything, even things that are insignificant and useless.

My job was my paradise, but my home became my own personal hell. An impeccable, tidy and clean home has less chance of becoming total chaos (something that an obsessive-compulsive person could never endure). The material things I obtained were pure and perfect. I kept everything I could and threw nothing away. Everything seemed. as if it could be useful at some point in the future.

My symptoms of obsessive-compulsive neurosis

My friends made me drink myself drunk and commit some sins (which I leave to the readers’ imagination). I also had an amorous dribble with a woman who was not my official partner. She got pregnant the first time we were ruthless, and it was here that my fate began. I cared so much about every detail that I no longer had time for everything. My memory began to fail me and I began to make big mistakes in my daily tasks. I knew I could not improvise if I wanted to be the perfect obsessive-compulsive.

Thus, I had no choice but to start carefully checking everything I did. Doubt led me to increased control. I asked people if I was behaving properly and gave them the opportunity to introduce calming behaviors. I often counted my keys again, double checking the locks and pressing the light switch three times to make sure they were off.

Impurity, absurdity and medication

I began to think I was getting unclean, but uncleanness can also be cleaned and handled. So that’s what I started doing. Rituals and even more rituals with test, cleanliness, order… When I was unclean, I had no choice but to wash myself again and again. A set of unclean thoughts began to emerge, which I feared and refused to give in to. I expelled them with a ritual (washing myself to fight this impurity), or I moved on to another thought that again turned out to be more absurd than the last. This filled me with doubt, and then I was forced to move on to the next, and so on and so forth.

Rituals and tests are the main symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

My head was a weather vane: it swung from thought to thought, even though I was thinking only of the most absurd things. As my mind became more and more absurd, I began to believe that someone could die because of me if I did not count and re-count things a certain number of times.

Soon I knew there were medications that could help combat my tendency to obsession. When some psychiatrists talked to me about it, I fled the session. If I did not, I would risk ending the charm of my neurosis. I would have to face the difficulties and cases of life, accept my imperfections and cease to be a role model and just live as a mortal.

To conclude…

As you can see, obsessive-compulsive disorder usually has a start that is slow, insidious and not incapable of working. The problem arises when it starts to take the lead role and takes over your mind with absurd ideas. Thoughts that lead you to repetitive behaviors that only seek to reduce your anxiety in the short term while strengthening its duration in the long term.

Thus, now that you have read this tale, fictional of course, you can better understand people suffering from this disorder. People who are really having a hard time. In addition, you will be able to apply the necessary funds in a timely manner, to prevent this from happening to you.