Tips For When To Confront People

Aggression is one of the least understood and poorly handled instincts we humans have. In general, it is only seen as being negative. But it is an important part of our survival toolbox, and it has a fundamental role to play. An example of this is when we end up in a situation where we have to demand what we want and confront people.

Often we are plagued by doubts about whether we are too sensitive if we confront people about something that is not really worth the effort. Is this really something I have to fight for? It is not an easy thing to determine and it depends on the subjective value determined by each person. It depends more on our mood than any objective reality.

The dilemma of whether to demand what you want is perhaps more relevant than you first realize. When it is necessary to demand and you do not, we let everyone wade over us. When we choose to confront people over something that is not worth the fight, we create unnecessary conflict. Both choices can be central if the question is important enough.

Questions to decide when to confront people

The question is: What criteria should we use? How do we decide when to push back against an annoying, unpleasant or harmful situation? The first thing we would like to point out is: Not all complaints, whether personal or professional, are worth anything.

First, we can be sure that it is necessary to say from when :

• A basic human right is in danger. You should never be silent in this case. Not saying anything in certain situations opens the door to a whole incredible lack of respect and consideration.
• When the damage done is more far-reaching than just the immediate effects. When it can have a more lasting effect than just right now and here. In this case, keeping quiet can prolong a negative experience.

• If it is a deliberate breach of an agreement: If a trade has been entered into, which is then broken, it is a good reason to confront people. If you do not complain, then you accept this new norm, even if it is harmful to certain people.
• When it threatens human dignity: This can mean physical, verbal or symbolic threats. None of these are acceptable. To be silent or inactive in this case is the same as applauding this action.

When should you hold again?

Now you have seen some criteria for when to say no. There are also signals that may suggest when a confrontation might be on the high side. First, when someone makes us sad, irritates us or otherwise has an effect on us without them being able to do for it. In these cases, there is no desire to do harm. People end up influencing others solely because of the situation. Why, however, confront people in that case?

It is not a good idea to confront people because of harm to our ego or vanity. For example, when we are not invited to a group activity that we had anticipated. Or when we are not treated like kings, even though they do not necessarily treat us badly either. In these cases, our frustrations come from a narcissistic trait that we must overcome and not promote.

One case where we should never create confrontation is  when we do someone a favor that they never reciprocate. If there was no prior agreement. Then everyone has the right to decide for themselves whether they want to reciprocate the service. It is then up to you to decide if you want to do them a favor another time.

Confrontation is an art form

When you decide that this is the right time to confront someone, it does not mean that you want to start a quarrel. There may be conflict and you have found yourself in a situation where one party has behaved inappropriately towards the other. You should avoid excessive aggression or unwillingness to find a solution to the problem.

It is always better to explain your side when the emotions have become a little calmer than when you have the nerves on the outside of the clothes. When we get hurt, we get frustrated. At the same time, it can lead to anger. Or even that we become unable to see and face the situation appropriately. Therefore, it is better to calm down before we start the confrontation.

The next step is to describe your complaint clearly. Explain what damage was done and how. Explain how the action went against your rights, agreements or person. Ask for or demand an explanation and, depending on the situation, an apology or refund for the damage that occurred. This can all be done without anger. Nothing works as well as logic to deal with this kind of difficulty.