The Randomness Of Life: Learn To Accept The Unexpected

Your life consists of many variables and factors…. and one of them is coincidence. Despite taking it for granted that you have a firm grip on reality, you are actually mostly left to chance. And yet it is so hard for us to accept the unexpected.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr., a science fiction writer, used to say that in a world that is not governed by order or predictability, we are bound to know how to deal with chaos ourselves.

But of course we must be able to do this, without letting chaos into our world. But even though this feeling that fate is capricious and puts us in situations we could not have foreseen, it is not something we often experience.

Many people like to live for many years without real worries and with the feeling that everything is in its right place.  We live our ordinary lives, go to work, socialize and spend time with family and friends…. and chaos seems to be far away.

Then suddenly something happens, or something changes. We are suddenly faced with having to face change and accept the unexpected.

It is at those times when you need capacity, abilities and mental approaches that you have never used before. Funnily enough, there are those who seem to respond perfectly.

It is as if they have some sort of underlying routine or code inscribed in their genes or in a hidden part of the brain, ready to be activated when adversity occurs. And it always seems like they are handling it in the best way.

The difficulty in accepting the unexpected

There are days when the sun could not shine any more and when the sky could not become more blue. However, there is nothing that can prevent the darkness from arising in a split second. 

Sometimes the storm hits suddenly, but other times you see some ominous clouds telling you that there is a storm on the way. Under those circumstances, there is no point in complaining. You just have to take over.

At times, stability rules the day. Everything on your schedule is reached: Every project, meeting, or trip happens without any problems. However, sometimes something unexpected happens, completely without warning.

The worst thing about unpredictable events is that they never come alone. As a rule, they bring with them more change and more uncertainty. In the midst of these situations, there is no point in complaining, regretting, or standing still. You will have to respond and act.

However, it is not always an easy act for many of us, for a myriad of reasons. Let’s take a closer look at some of them.

Your brain does not like coincidences

How can you accept the unexpected if your brain cannot tolerate coincidences? This amazing body has an almost obsessive tendency to look for patterns and learn from experience so you can respond more appropriately in your life. It likes best to have everything under control.

Any unexpected event or unknown stimulus that it has not previously encountered or experienced activates an alarm system and is interpreted as a threat.

But does that mean your brain is so programmed that you are unable to respond to change or chaos? The answer is no! You have the ability to handle these circumstances. And as surprising as it may sound, we have actually done well over time.

We are naturally creative beings with great psychological resources to invent, react and overcome adversity. That’s how we were able to survive through time. This is how we will continue to move forward, despite change and the inevitable fear created by the unexpected.

“Uncertainty is where things happen. This is where the opportunities – for success, happiness, for real life – await. ”

-Martha Nussbaum-

Accept the unexpected by remembering your purpose

Science often tells us that life is a by-product of a random universe. Let us also remember what the famous physicist, Werner Heisenberg, said: “What we observe in a substance is not things (or particles), but waves of probability”.

This idea helped him formulate his famous theory of the principle of uncertainty, in which he describes that it is impossible to predict or measure the position and motion of a particle. However, we may have conjectures.

But even in a world of quantum physics, there is always a small percentage of chaos. In fact, some of what Heisenberg pointed out is that in an uncertain world, we must always be prepared for the unexpected.

The reality of life is neither good nor evil. It is simply mere reality. There are always those who take advantage of it and have no problem accepting the unexpected. They can continue in a brave and creative way.

Others, on the other hand, are paralyzed by the experience. Why is it like that? Because people often live such peaceful and unchanging lives for years. Their brain feels quite capable of anticipating what is going to happen until the black swan suddenly comes on stage, as author Nassim Nicholas Taleb told us about.

So how can you deal with the inevitable factor that uncertainty in life is? Let’s look at some areas where you can reflect on this.

Exercises in accepting and facing the unexpected

You will have to accept and face the unexpected, bearing in mind the following:

• The first step to accepting the unexpected is to remember your purpose. No matter how chaotic your current situation is, if you are aware of your priorities, you will be able to find the strength and ability to act.
• The second step is to take control of the things that you can actually control. Here we talk about your decisions, mental approach and actions.
• The next thing you need to understand is that in the midst of all the uncertainties, you will always need to take risks.  This can cause discomfort, it is true enough, but you really have to take innovative and positive steps to be able to move forward.
• It is also important to awaken the abilities we have: curiosity, creativity and receptivity. You must be open to your surroundings. Listen, take advice and then act by following your inner compass. What you can achieve in these circumstances can actually be very enriching.

In the end, you have to be brave to accept the unexpected, no matter how bad it is. If you just stand still and complain about this element of your life, your suffering will get bigger. You need to be proactive and resourceful and able to rationalize your fears. You need to make your emotions and your creativity work to your advantage.