Does Unconditional Love Really Exist?

Some people say that unconditional love is the purest and noblest feeling in the whole world. It means to love without expecting anything in return. It is to love a person with each a fiber in him. It means loving someone for who they are, no matter what they do or say, whether they are with someone or not.

Herman Hesse said that he who knows how to love well will always win in life. What exactly does it mean to “love well”? An unconditional love the perfect example of loving well? There really is no clear answer to this specific question, but there are some thoughts that are important to reflect on.

First, many people would agree that a relationship based on unconditional passion can be risky. After all, people who love each other without boundaries or conditions often end up crossing important boundaries. If you are in a relationship without boundaries, your identity and self-esteem are in danger.

Many people argue that the love that parents feel for their children is the best example of deep, authentic and unconditional love. It’s a nice thought, but there are cases where children have done things that have changed their parents’ love for them.

Love is not always enough

Emotional psychologists believe that it is important to distinguish between love as an emotion and love as the basis of a relationship. It is one thing to love and another to live with the person you love. Let’s dive a little deeper into these thoughts.

Unconditional love and conditional relationships

Is it possible to have unconditional love? The answer is yes, but you will need to understand the nuances.

Neuroscience actually has fascinating insights that might surprise you. Believe it or not, but scientists claim that your brain is designed to love unconditionally.

The brain and unconditional love

Dr. Mario Beauregard and Dr. Jerome Courtemanche from the University of Montreal in Canada conducted a very interesting study on unconditional love.

They found that unconditional love shares the same neural mechanisms as addictive processes. There is a reward system controlled by dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, oxytocin and vasopressin.

Unconditional love is reminiscent of romantic love. There is a mixture of absolute passion, affection, attachment and intense love. In a way, the brain is designed to experience this kind of intense love. However, the rational part of your brain forces you to set boundaries.

Love is one thing, relationships are another

Let us not forget that unconditional love is ultimately an emotion. Relationships in themselves belong to a different category.

As you probably already know, love is not the only thing that matters in romantic relationships. If you do not have good communication with your partner, it does not matter how much you love each other. If you do not feel empathy or respect for each other, love will not be enough to keep things running.

This leads to conflicting and often painful situations. You may want to love someone very deeply, but understand that you will never be able to have a relationship with them.

I love you unconditionally, but I know I should let go of you

You have seen that it is possible to love a person unconditionally, without limits. Sometimes this kind of love is painful. Sometimes you know that you are blindly in love with the completely wrong person, so you let go of them for your own sake, no matter how hard it is.

Just because you let go of them does not mean that it is easy to move on. You know you are better served without, both mentally and emotionally, but you still feel an unconditional love. Unfortunately, these feelings can persist even after the relationship ends.

To love well means to have boundaries and conditions

Borders are even healthier and even more important than you might think. They can be difficult to deal with sometimes, but overall, they improve relationships and make everyone happy.

Unconditional love is real, we know that. However, you need to shape it carefully to suit your relationship. You will need to understand that boundaries and conditions are necessary within love. This also applies in relation to raising children.

You can love your children deeply, passionately, infinitely… They deserve it! However, this does not mean that your children can get away with anything. In relationships, not everything goes, not everything is valid. To be able to agree with people, one must respect the boundaries they set.

Love and boundaries are not mutually exclusive. If you respect the boundaries, love will still be there, ready to provide shelter and security.