The Unwanted Child
Ideally, a child comes into the world when it is desired by the heart and brain of the parents. But many situations in life are not ideal. A large proportion of pregnancies are unplanned and unwanted.
The result? Many, many people beginning their days amid a total or partial lack of meaning of their existence.
Abortion is even today an option that is widely rejected by various sections of society.
In these cases, the decision to give a new life is made primarily out of moral duty, and not out of love or desire. The consequences of these situations can be very serious.
The desire for and the realization of the same
It is possible that some mothers and fathers do not want a child at any given time in life. If a pregnancy occurs under these circumstances, there are two alternatives:
Either the parents suppress their rejection of the new being without success; or they go into a process of rethinking their expectations and manage to build desire based on new emotions that emerge.
If the father, mother, or both fail to accept the existence of the child, they may literally choose to leave the child. Or they suppress their emotions and understand that the situation is the decision of fate.
The child will be a disruptive piece for both of them, whatever they agree to get it and raise it or not.
Most usually in such cases, the child grows up in the midst of great emotional deprivation.
Yes, the baby gets food, but it is not made with love. Yes, it has a roof over its head, but it feels like a stranger in its own home.
Suppressed emotions always come back to bite you. Although they are often in a different guise. This is also why many parents who have unwanted children become extremely protective of them. They do not even want air to touch them.
They see an unwanted child as a creature that can be easily destroyed. Precisely because their love bond is extremely fragile. When it comes to an unwanted child, parents rarely seek quality time to share with them. Playing is nothing but a waste of time. And any opportunity to talk to them will feel uncomfortable and tense. They feel like they have nothing to say.
The consequences
The emotional distance from parents leaves strong traces in people. Their inner belief that “something is missing,” as if it were a latent question, but not enough words to answer it.
It will be very difficult for unwanted children to build healthy love relationships in their adult lives. Love is a foreign language to them. They do not know how to decode it, and not at all how to build it. It is very difficult for them to want and be wanted.
A love affair may be suffocating for them: it is a defense against intimacy, which they know nothing about. Usually, they fluctuate between selfishness and deep feelings of inferiority. They do not understand what balanced and healthy self-esteem is and what it looks like.
This is why they more often than not abandon their conflicts with authorities and peers or do nothing but create them. They always talk about the broken relationship that marked their arrival in this world.
Someone with such a background will need help to get through the void of love that is in their hearts. The most important step is that they acknowledge that their discomfort does not depend on who they are, but on the circumstances that led to it.
Remember: it’s never too late to have an open conversation with your parents.
Pictures of Creations
