Being Single Is My Reality, For Better Or Worse

We must pay attention to the famous Petronius, who said that “You can get married or stay single, but you will regret it no matter what. “No matter what you do, you will always fail. Or maybe we are always looking for what we do not have? The thing for many people is that being single is a reality whether it is chosen or not.

But the way we really are tends to be expressed through our social behavior. Although we are good actors, our relationships with others describe us just as we are to someone who knows how to interpret the characters.

Why choose to be single?

Within the social world we live in, more and more people are choosing to be single. Nevertheless, for others, it is not a choice. Instead, it is a reality because they have not been able to find a partner. There are other people who do not care. And we could continue with different motivations as to whether we should have a partner or not, which was indispensable a few years ago.

The thing is, throughout our lives, we meet all kinds of people. But every day, the opportunity to be single is more accepted on a social level. Or at least, if someone does not find a partner, they do not intend to find one, just so as not to be considered excluded . Which used to happen until not so long ago.

Therefore, the psychologist and sociologist, Arturo Torres, has begun the difficult act of compiling a list of the different types of singers. Nevertheless, this classification is informal, but it’s fun to look at. Who knows? Maybe you find reflection of your own current social reality.

The independent single life

Torres starts by talking about independent singles. These people value their lives without the chains they think they would suffer from if they had a partner. For them, their time and place are too important. Thus, they flee from intense attachment as they see it as a limiting factor.

Self-sufficient single life

This group includes those people whose minds may not even understand the idea of ​​being in a relationship. They are completely self-sufficient and need a high level of insulation. Their natural state is lonely, but not in a negative way. They simply have no interest in sharing their world with other people.

The isolated single

In this case, Torres refers to those singles who, although independent and self-sufficient, prefer to have a partner. Thus, they do not feel isolated, but they want to share and give up their lonely lifestyle. Often this happens because they are not used to being social or because of their poor ability to learn new habits.

“The tiger is the one who wanders in numbers on the floor because of loneliness. It does not go backwards, nor does it go forward. ”
-Ramón López Velarde-

Bachelor with low self-esteem

In this group, the psychologist describes people who long for a relationship but are unable to look for one. Perhaps because of their low self-esteem, values, or lack of social skills, they do not consider themselves capable of being attractive. Nevertheless, these people can work on changing their mentality and thoughts as they feel dissatisfied and miserable. They find themselves in a situation they do not want to be in, but which they condemn themselves to.

Existential singles

A fifth group includes the existential singles. They are characterized by their pessimism, therefore they do not believe in relationships. These people tend to have a cold and eerie view of the world. So they actually free themselves from intimate feelings.

Ideological single life

Torres establishes another group, which he calls the ideological singles. It is very rare and it involves people establishing their own red lines to get to know others. Thus, they tend to systematically reject most of the vacant candidates. They could be considered very demanding. But when taken to the extreme, it can lead to anxiety and too much pressure.

The passing single

In this section we find singles looking for a relationship. They are aware that they want to be with someone in the short and medium term. Therefore, they analyze their options and try to find candidates. Thus, they are in a state of transition: they have ended a relationship and are likely to start a new one soon.

Single life to learn

Finally, Arturo Torres talks about single life to learn. These are people who are fleeing from being in a relationship because their past romantic experiences were negative. Thus, most of them elaborate on a speech in which they pack their memories and in which the reasons for their situation are reflected. Traumatic memories create a kind of almost irrational rejection of the idea of ​​having a partner. This can actually end up producing philophobia (phobia of romantic relationships).

“Bachelors are men who have married themselves. And in most cases, it’s a marriage that gets awful. ”
-Miguel Mihura-

We live in a world where we tend to put a label on everything for the purpose of understanding it better. Therefore, it is no wonder that we identify being single according to its relationship and concrete details. But despite being an informal classification, it seems like a fair compilation. So if we look back or observe our current situation, we can see ourselves reflected in one or a few of these groups. It’s happened to me, what about you?