People Who Think Others Are Always Responsible For Their Problems

“Another is always responsible for the things that have happened to me.” “My problems are always everyone else’s fault. None of that is because of me. ” Do these feelings seem familiar? Do you see yourself or someone you know in them?
There are many people who are unable to accept responsibility for their actions. The thing is, when you can not accept that you are actually the person leading your life, making choices and acting, it will be difficult for you to take the initiative and take the wheel in your life. In these scenarios, there is always someone to blame for things that happen. And of course, it’s not you.

It’s my boyfriend, my mom, the person I met… There’s a huge selection, as big as we want it . The greatest blindness is when we cannot accept the part we play, the part that is fortunately ours and not someone else’s – or fate’s. It is absolute denial and stubborn belief that says the person “responsible” for my problems is always someone else.

They make others responsible so they do not have to accept it

Some people are true artists in distorting reality in order to justify what they tell themselves: that they are not responsible for what happened to them. They feel good about their self-deception, partly because they are so used to it that it is almost unconscious. But self-deception is still a major constraint that confuses our reality. It becomes more chaotic, more hostile.

We lose our North Star when we put our responsibility on everyone else’s shoulders. When we act impulsively. When we get frustrated because the other person is not responding the way we want. They can not or will not. But this is not our battle. The other person can act as they please. We are the ones who must act accordingly.

These people waste a lot of time complaining. Nothing is ever enough. They could complain about even the most insignificant thing. And they are completely unable to channel their frustration. They become tyrants in their own little kingdom. The worst part of it all is that it ends up hurting themselves and everyone around them.

Other people will not always be able to meet my needs

This has a lot to do with not knowing yourself, not reflecting. Knowing yourself and accepting who you are right now is the first step to changing yourself . If you do not know what your needs are and where your actions are coming from, it will be difficult for you to find a solution.

If someone is not aware of us, we make a scene as a child, to get their attention. There is almost no method that is not fair in this kind of war. But when the other person does not give us what we need, we become furious. We curse them and accuse them of our frustration. We make them responsible so we do not disappoint ourselves.

If someone does not give us what we want, or does everything to satisfy our needs, we become frustrated. On the other hand, some people around us fix everything so quickly that we do not even realize that we have asked for help and that they have given it to us.

But when we realize it, it is not uncommon for us to feel that we have nothing to be thankful for, as the other person was obligated to respond to our demands anyway.

Collect the arrows you shoot and you will grow

We do not see the other person as separated from us. We see them as a slave to satisfy our tyrannical needs. I command, and you obey my commands. And if you do not obey them, I will make you feel that you are responsible for my unhappiness and that it is your fault. This is our unspoken mindset.

“I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am me, and if we happen to find each other, it’s beautiful. If not, it can not be helped. “
–Fritz Perls–

The moment we pick up all the arrows we shot, we understand the situation and regain our sight. It was the center of all communication with the outside world, the center of our mindsets. While we are talking about a long-standing habit that is hard to break, it is possible to change it if we seek help.