How To Leave A Toxic Relationship
Toxic relationships between partners. They occur every day, all over the world, regardless of country, education and age. Almost unconsciously, we fall into situations where our rights as human beings are constantly violated.
We lose the right to choose, to be ourselves, to live with integrity and happiness. But why does it happen? The truth is that when it comes to love, no one has a manual with perfect instructions and answers to every question. To fall in love means to be overwhelmed by a range of emotions so intense that it sometimes becomes very difficult to maintain one’s balance and perspective.
It is also very common for the same person to go through more than one toxic relationship in their life. Does this mean that some people have a “victim” profile? A profile of someone who can be easily manipulated?
The truth is that we can not confirm that theory. At all. Nor should we see the toxic person exclusively as being the “male role”. The manipulator, the person who punishes and treats badly, can easily fall into both the male and female categories. It is important that we are aware of this, despite the fact that it is undoubtedly more common for women to end up as the focus of the abuse, in these cases.
It is therefore important that we do not understand what precautions we need to take to leave a toxic relationship and move on. For our general well-being and our emotional health.
Therefore, we do not discover that we are in a toxic relationship
It is possible that you know someone in your circle who is in a toxic relationship right now. You may be conscious of this fact, but he or she is not; they do not see what you see. And no matter how much we want to show them that what they are experiencing is far from normal, the person refuses to admit this fact.
Why does this occur? Here are a number of reasons:
- We believe that our partner can change. We believe that what we are reviewing is temporary. We believe that they will improve sooner or later because they love us. This means that we create an “ideal image” of the other person that does not correspond to reality.
- Person who is manipulated usually has very low self-esteem. It is possible that they had the willpower and self-confidence before they were in the toxic relationship. But over time, they have become vulnerable and hurt. They have ended up believing that this is the way they must live.
- We regularly drop in for extortion. Yesterday the person may have humiliated you and made you cry, but today they have asked for forgiveness with tears in their eyes. And you do not feel you can say no…
- The fear of loneliness, of being abandoned, or rejected. Even though we live in a toxic relationship, we believe that it is better to live in “this way” than to be alone. It is something that occurs regularly, even if it seems surprising.
- Fear of the consequences of leaving the toxic person. There is usually fear of how the other person will react, and perhaps there is even a violent component to consider.
Strategies for leaving a toxic relationship
- Be aware. No one can overcome a problem if they do not first understand that there is a “wall” up in their life. This must be considered, for love is the greatest contributing factor that blinds us. Sometimes we love so blindly and unconditionally that it is hard to accept that they take our rights and integrity from us.
- Say no to fear. Fear is the greatest burden we must overcome. If you do not feel strong enough to do it yourself, ask for help. Whether you are asking a friend, colleague, family member who supports you, social service units or a professional healthcare provider. We understand that every couple is in their specific universe. It may be that your partner is not violent, but despite that, you are still afraid of ending up being alone. But loneliness is preferable to these types of relationships.
- Invest all your energy in yourself. You have spent too much time taking care of another person. You’re been a little satellite that has flown around a planet that has contributed nothing. It’s time to move on, find your own horizon, and find new illusions and dreams that are your own. It’s something we all deserve.
Leaving a toxic relationship is possible, requires courage and good self-esteem. But we are all capable of achieving that – it’s within your reach. And it is up to you whether you will take the opportunity to turn the key and open a door that will lead you to your newfound happiness.
Photo: Viaska, John Cotmann
