Three Myths About Romantic Love

These myths of romantic love are some of humanity’s biggest lies. They stem from the human tendency to idealize “the perfect couple”. We idealize each other and love is a practical way to cover up each other’s mistakes. Love is everywhere. Animated films even teach children that the price of overcoming adversity is the perfect love.

The main problem with perfect love is that it turns men into protagonists and women into prizes. You may not realize it, but it’s actually what’s always happening in movies, on TV and other media.

Myths about romantic love

The following myths about romantic love affect your relationship in a negative way. They can lead to unrealistic and downright harmful expectations about the person you are with.

1. Soul mates within romantic love

The first time you see a Disney movie, you start to believe that there is this one person out there who was created for you. These movies (and society in general) make you believe that it is your destiny to be with this person and that when you meet him, you will both fall in love with him immediately.

They also make you believe that your relationship will be perfect and that this person will fit perfectly into your plans. Society makes you believe that love must be faithful and exclusive, and that it is not about whether you have experience from other relationships or not. 

But is experience from other relationships not a good thing? Studies say so. Having different relationships often helps you figure out what you want and what you do not want. 

It also gives us signs that help you figure out where you can and will compromise. That doesn’t mean you need to have had a myriad of partners. This means that it is not essential to have only one.

2. The omnipotence of love

Most stories, movies, and media allude to the omnipotence of love. They make people believe that love can overcome all adversity and that it makes you infinitely strong and resilient. The problem with that is that so many people find themselves in relationships that ruin their dignity because they believe in this idea.

Love can not do everything! In fact, it is nothing more than a social construction that you can refrain from if it does not fit with your personal or professional life. Not everyone is ready for a long-term relationship. Nor is everyone ready to have only one kind of relationship.

There are couples who live together. Others are happy with their own place, so they live separately. Some couples decide to get through crises together and others choose to go their separate ways. All of these options are equally worthwhile. The most important thing is that both parties agree.

Opposites meet

Often we tell children that if their classmate annoys them, it is because they like them. This is a dangerous myth, and it goes hand in hand with the idea that “opposites meet and sweet music arises”.

This myth can affect relationships in two different ways. The first is directly related to the omnipotence of love and soul mates. In this situation, both parties accept their differences, believing that love will overcome all obstacles. 

The truth is that couples with very different views on things will end up arguing all the time. Being able to discuss is an important part of a relationship, but constant conflicts can create imbalances and affect unity and compatibility.

You can change people

The other is very popular in literature, movies and TV. It is the idea that love can change a person. You know the story: Someone (usually a woman) finds a partner who is completely wrong for her.

However, instead of all looking for someone who is more compatible, she does everything in her power to change the other person so she can have a relationship with him.

The truth is that people do not just change like that. The mistake that people often make is to love the person they think their partner will be in the future instead of the partner who is there now. It is, after all, the person they are in a relationship with.

Compatibility, tolerance, respect and a healthy attraction are important and can lead to a strong, long lasting relationship (if that’s what you’re looking for). In the long run, the urge to copy other relationships will give you unrealistic expectations and only lead to frustration.