5 Lies We Would Like To Believe In
As horrible as they may be, lies never cease to have attractive and seductive qualities. While many truths strike us with a straightforwardness that disappoints us, the very opposite happens when many lie: they give us hope. The word “hope” has a lot to do with disappointment – and it even motivates us.
Not everyone has these qualities, but many do. These are the lies we tell ourselves or others tell us. We want to believe in them because they fit our needs better. Or they allow us to see the world in a way that is better suited to what we hope for.
It is not without reason that one of the kings of lies, Adolf Hitler, said, “the greater the lie, the more people will believe it.” In fact, we often know when something is not true. Yet we make an effort to support its truth, even after it has been proven false. Here we will give you a list of five of the lies that we so want to believe.
1. One of the most classic lies: if you explode with anger, you will be relieved afterwards
This is a very common thought. It is said that the feeling of anger is toxic to us and that the best way to avoid this is by letting his anger come out. As soon as you have shouted and screamed, smashed a fragile thing on the wall and said everything you had on your mind, you will obviously instantly feel great relief and calm.
This is completely wrong. Anger is addictive and manifesting it out of control will lead one into a vicious circle that feeds anger. This means that if you do not learn to control your anger, you will become more and more likely to feel it. This will make self-control even more difficult. Maybe it starts with shouting, but over time, it can lead to a person ending up in the hospital. Anger is relieved through relaxation, not through uncontrolled explosions.
2. A healthy self-esteem does not guarantee success
Self-esteem is a concept that has gained great recognition in recent years. It is true that those individuals who have a good sense of self suffer less in social situations and waste less of their energy on useless anxiety.
Having a healthy self-esteem does not automatically lead to success. And having a low or bloated self-esteem does not necessarily lead to defeat either. The story is full of great men and women who always doubted themselves, and yet they came up with important contributions. It is possible that a healthy self-esteem gives us a greater adaptability and as a result a lesser interest in asking the difficult questions or having major concerns. But it is never a sure “sign” or a sufficient condition.
3. He / she was or was not the love of my life ”
“The love of my life” is another of the myths that everyone wants to believe. It is one of those lies that comforts us or contributes to a hopeful view of romance. It is wrong to say that there is a perfect love. And for that reason it is “the love of one’s life.”
Every choice we make involves a series of rejections. If you choose a profession, you opt out of many other jobs where you might have been successful. If one chooses a partner forever, one rejects many others one could have been just as happy with or perhaps to a greater degree.
One can say that love is imperfect. One love may cover something the other cannot, but it will also reveal other things that the other love was better at.
4. You can achieve anything you want
The reality is that we do not always achieve what we set out to do. Even if we make a big effort for it or spend most of our time achieving it. We may desire it with all our heart and soul and work restlessly on it, but we will not always achieve it.
Sometimes we set our goals in an inappropriate way. We set goals that are virtually impossible to achieve. We neither can nor will be able to go back in time even if we wanted to. Reality dictates that we can not win an Olympic medal in gymnastics if we have already reached a certain age and have never practiced in it.
The fact that there are challenges that will be too great for us does not mean that there are others difficult and hopeful that we can not achieve and above all enjoy with sufficient effort.
5. Everything happens for a reason
For a rational society, it is difficult to accept that there are questions that do not have an answer or a reality that cannot be given an exact cause. To say that “everything happens for a reason,” is one of the most popular lies we tell ourselves because it gives us a sense that reality is logical in itself. Everything can be controlled.
The truth is that the cause of things or the meaning of things is something that each of us decides. Or that ceases to be determined as a function of our feelings and beliefs. Nothing has a real reason, but rather it is people and cultures who find causes or explanations of the facts of life in accordance with what they want, or with the principles on which they base their beliefs.
Pictures by Helene del Maire and Henrietta Harris
