Love, When You’re Ready, Not When You’re Alone

Love is pure adrenaline and it avoids any attempt at rationalization. We can not control it and we can not decide when we want it to happen. It only happens when we are ready. It happens and we feel something extraordinary, so scary and special at the same time that it does not leave any of us indifferent. So we can not falsify or hide when we are in love. We fall in love and any attempt at logic is in vain.

The magical nature of love makes us incapable of forcing it to happen when we want it to. In fact, when the French philosopher Sartre pointed out that we are free, except to decide that we want to be, he forgot to add the feeling of being in love: it is not chosen; it springs up and can arrive both in good times in our lives as well as in bad.

Rebound ratio

You have probably experienced the awful pain that an emotional breakup causes at some point in your life, and then you know better than anyone else the aftermath of that emotional loss. The name “rebound relationship” is given to those who are listed right after ending another relationship that has left you hurt.

What do you love when you love, my God: the terrible light of life
or the light of death? What are you looking for or finding, what
is this love? Who is it?”

–Gonzalo Rojas, poem “What do you love when you love?” –

Not all conditions that start after a fracture are the product of that rebound effect, but we often think we can reduce the disorder. But that’s the wrong way to go. Without realizing it, we believe that the new person will resolve our unhappiness and heal the wounds left from the previous person that we used to love.

What really lies behind this behavior is only loneliness and instability. We are so hurt that we could not get over it, so instead we hid it because it is easier than facing it. In other words , the lost relationship leads us to believe we need someone else to feel fulfilled. We desperately search for love to erase the past, forgetting that we can only love when we are ready for it.

Fear of being single leads to relationships, even when one is not ready

Sharing your life with someone is not easy, but there is true love where the pieces fall into place and the relationship progresses. But it is also not easy to live with oneself if something in us is not in place, and needs attention. As such, before we try to run for balance in a relationship, we must learn to be alone with ourselves; otherwise, any relationship we have will only be an illusion.

The first thing we need to do is turn our faces to our fears: many people do not love their partner; rather, they are afraid of not having any. When we do not understand this, we are likely to repeat the mistake over and over again with all our partners.

The fear of being alone is a problem that is becoming more common, and it is one that at times does not allow the person suffering from it to go through the grieving process that the bride requires. This fact creates emotional dependence and false notions of loneliness and freedom: being alone does not mean “being old and bitter”. Nor does it mean “lack of freedom” to be with anyone.

“There is no formula.

Love

Is the limit itself

It separates the soul

From the most absolute material,

An overly handy fantasy ”

-Suso Sudón, poem “Metamor” –

The charm of matching

As we said above, the only one who can truly love is the one who is ready for it, has recognized that they do not want to fall into the same trap as before, and who dare to risk because what they feel is greater than their fears. This is the charm of fitting in with someone you do not expect and knowing that you have no choice but to try.

There are those who long to feel so loved that they will let their heart be clouded by unreality; there are those who do not love themselves and want to be loved; there are those who only listen to their minds to act and forget their feelings. Love is emotional and it cannot be measured or calculated. Those who manage to fall in love finally realize that they did not have to do anything to achieve this: because it was that moment and life just held it back for them.

 “It was your story.
It ran over mine.
So many people, so many people out there.
And they collide one day.”

-Song Coincide, Macaco-