A Balloon Of Emotions In A World Of Needles

It is simple. We are a balloon full of emotions in a world full of needles.  I talk about you because everything touches you and you carry your emotions outside of your clothes. Of course, it characterizes you. You stand out because of your special sensitivity.

But you pay a price for being very emotional.  One’s worries, one’s affect and how one feels are always present. They are with one through thick and thin.

And then there are the needles that puncture the hole in your balloon and disperse your emotions.  They do not understand that your skin is fragile and that if they get close to you, they will make you explode. Create a tear that cannot be repaired. You try to contain all your emotions, but you do not succeed. Only sometimes. And, of course, you make sure no one steps on them. Because then you would lose a part of yourself. Then you were going to put together another puzzle.

Every time you get stung by a needle, you will have to rebuild your balloon, this time a little stronger. You know that sooner or later a new needle will pop up and pop it again. But this time  , this new needle needs to get a little closer  to you.

“I put my balloon into a balloon. That way I protect myself ”,  you think.  And that way, you end up adding layer after layer to protect yourself from the outside. As if you were an onion.

Each time you say, ” I will not let myself be hurt again,” but each time another needle punctures a hole in all your barriers. And all the way back to the start. 

This time  you paint each balloon in a different color and write a few words  that everyone can see:

# 1 – I’m always okay, there’s nothing wrong

Denying our emotions is one of the most common tactics. This makes us unaware of what is happening to us, and of course makes us believe that we are avoiding them.

If we are not able to describe the moments of life in detail, it is because we have stopped thinking about everyday life. This, of course, has serious consequences. If we do not learn from our experiences, we will continue to make even more mistakes. We will no longer be able to recognize ourselves in our actions.

# 2 – I do not need a hug

Another way we inflate our balloon is by refraining from contact with others. This is one of the darkest strategies because it pushes us away from the real world. It keeps us from fully participating in life.

Frida Kahlo said that cutting off our emotions is risking being eaten up from within. We want to feel loved, but without showing vulnerability, without opening our hearts. Certain hugs can repair our broken hearts, but we will have to allow ourselves to be embraced.

# 3 – I can handle anything

We tell ourselves that we have superpowers and that nothing overwhelms us. But the reality is  that running around with a shield is difficult and deprives us of our freedom. In the end, we have inflated so many balloons that we do not know how we can stay hovering and relaxed.

This behavior gives us the illusion of control over our emotions, but it is only a mirage. Something painful has happened, but the fear of suffering causes us to hide the truth. 

# 4 – It’s my being, I am who I am

Okay, so you’re who you are and you’m defending your right to exist. But  are you speaking on your own behalf, or on your armor? You probably put on a mask; a disguise so no one knows what’s going on inside.

This balloon can protect you from many needles. Either way, it might help you hover over some complicated situations. Other times, it will be an even greater burden. This situation will create far more suffering than what it removes.

We protect ourselves from others,  but one day we will be trapped in our armor unable to breathe. We can flee or make ourselves victims, but that does not help us. Our balloons are marked by the past. A past that we are going to move on from.