Are You Dominated By Impulses?

Taking control of your impulses is not an easy task. It’s like taming a wild animal that lives in the deepest part of you. In this article, we will talk about how you can take control when you are dominated by impulses before they take control of you.

Impulses come from your irrational and primitive side. It’s like trying to tame a wild animal. It may seem most docile, but in certain situations it will act by its nature. In these moments, it does not matter whether what the animal is doing is beneficial in the end or not.

In short, impulses put your self-control to the test. Are you dominated by your impulses? Keep reading for an explanation and strategies on how to control your impulsivity.

Dominant impulses are the cause of many psychological problems. Addiction to something and being dependent on someone are obvious examples, but uncontrolled impulses are also characteristic of disorders such as bulimia and borderline personality disorder.

It goes beyond one’s well-being when one is dominated by impulses

Impulse control problems cause emotional tension that is hard to shake off. It is only when you succumb to the impulse that you experience relief from that tension. The relief that you feel strengthens the impulse and makes it even harder to control. It is also noble, and when worn, you are left with much deeper and discouraged feelings: Guilt and remorse.

Over time, you can forget the horrible feelings and make the same mistakes again. This desire for instant gratification eventually leads to you feeling like you are unable to resist your impulses. You feel powerless against them. This can become a vicious circle that is very difficult to break.

Where do impulses come from?

Researchers do not know the origin of the impulse, but looking at people from case to case provides some information on which scenario is more likely.

You can also learn to be impulsive through imitation. If you saw your parents dealing with problems impulsively and impatiently, then so do you. The good news is that you can learn to change these patterns.

Studies also show that a serotonin deficiency in the brain can predispose people to be impulsive. Therefore, researchers believe that Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) may be effective for people with these disorders.

Keep in mind, however, that the effectiveness of these drugs is limited. SSRIs may help in the beginning, but you will not be able to learn alternative and functional behaviors. The second problem is that you may develop a tolerance to the medication, and experience some side effects.

It seems that certain emotional wounds from childhood may also be partly responsible for your impulsive behavior as an adult.

When researchers look at the past of people who are pathologically impulsive, they find certain cavities in their upbringing, such as an absent parent, lack of love, or emotional regulation. People want to fill these “cavities” as quickly and intensively as possible.

Are you dominated by impulses? How can you control them?

It is not an easy task to control impulses when one is dominated by impulses. As we mentioned earlier, impulses are like wild animals and we all know that taming a wild animal is not an easy task. It requires patience, willpower and perseverance.

That said, it is unrealistic to think that you can control your impulses completely. Instead, celebrate your small victories along the way.

Time to think

The first step to freeing yourself when you are dominated by impulses is to distance yourself from any situation that triggered them. When you step away, even for a short time, you put brakes on your impulsivity.

Impulses do not last very long, although they can be intense. This is something that can be to your advantage if you are aware of it. The longer you can resist acting on an impulse, the more likely you are to solve the problem correctly.

Mark your impulses

It is important to mark your impulse and recognize what it is. Tell yourself: “This is just another impulse, I do not have to do what it wants me to do”. The key is to separate it from who you are. See your impulse as an enemy attacking you, instead of something that is a part of you.

Focus your five senses on something else

While waiting for the emotional intensity of the moment, try to do another activity to distract your mind when you are dominated by impulses. For example, go out and buy something that is not related to your impulse.

It will force you to focus on what to buy, what to say to the cashier, how much money you need, etc. These are banal things that will help you concentrate and make time go by. However, make sure that you do not just replace one impulse with another. It is not healthy to get away from a high conflict situation by drinking or smoking.

Think about your goals and the consequences

If I follow up on this impulse, what will happen? Will I get better? How long will my relief last? Do I want to be the kind of person who can not control himself? Does this coincide with my beliefs and values? If you are aware of your goals and values ​​in life, but you are doing something that you know you should not be doing, you are creating cognitive dissonance.

This dissonance is an unpleasant mental state, a kind of “I want to, but I should not”, which you should try to avoid. Try to be sure that everything you do makes sense of who you are and what your goals are.

Solve the problem (if there is one)

If the problem has a solution, it is not a bad idea to explore the alternatives you can use to solve it. To do this, you need to use some problem-solving techniques. If the problem comes from your mind and it has no solution, mark it as such in your mind and try to ignore it.

To tolerate discomfort when one is dominated by impulses

Managing your impulses inevitably involves dealing with a certain voltage that is uncomfortable at first. This discomfort is often the reason why people allow themselves to be dominated by impulses.

The key is to dominate your impulses, even if it hurts and causes anxiety. Anxiety or emotional distress are just emotions that are caused by chemical reactions in the brain. However, it will not kill you or trigger disasters. When you learn to tolerate it, you will see how quickly they lose intensity.

When you are dominated by impulses, it is easy to fall into their trap. But being aware of how it all works is a big step toward managing your own emotions. When you know what’s going on with you and what to do about it, the difficult part is maintaining that control.

With great patience and acceptance of distress you will be able to take responsibility for your life and you will no longer be dominated by impulses.