Constructive Pain: It Teaches And Connects People

There are two kinds of pain. There is one that can make you turn inward, causing trauma and keeping your wounds open. But constructive pain is the one that teaches you and gives you incredible strength and the ability to connect better with people, and especially to be more sensitive to the suffering of others.

Dante said that someone who knows pain knows everything. But does that mean we are forced to suffer if we really want to understand life ? Not really.

“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.”
-William Faulkner-

The first thing to keep in mind is that pain comes from your brain. After receiving certain signals from your environment, body and senses, your brain interprets them and immediately decides whether to produce a feeling of pain. It is as if a panic button is pressed when you feel someone or something threatening your physical or emotional well-being.

But here comes the most interesting part: every pain signal you feel and perceive has a purpose. We call it constructive pain for a reason. It’s a warning sign, so you should not ignore it. When you put your hand into fire, your brain will send you a signal of intense pain. But when you take it out, your brain will immediately send a series of chemicals to relieve the feeling of pain.

In fact, almost the same thing happens on the emotional level. When you go through a trauma, your brain will almost interpret it as a burn . Pain requires a reaction. To act, to pull our hand out of the fire. And the lesson we learn from it – it’s one we will never forget.

Constructive pain and happiness

It was Aldous Huxley who showed us how living in a state of infinite pleasure can lead to truly dystopian societies. You can see it for yourself in his novel, “Brave New World. “Although the idea of ​​endless pleasure seems fantastic, the reality is usually very different. In a sense, we could almost say that people need a little pain as a contrast to joy.

For example, there are not many things as comforting as coming home after a cold winter day and drinking hot cocoa . And athletes also feel euphoria after intense physical exertion. During this effort, endorphins and other endogenous opiates come together to relieve the pain of physical exertion.

So if we say that pain can actually increase your sense of joy and happiness, it is not a contradiction. There are many studies on the subject, such as this one in the “Personality and Social Psychology Review.” They explain how suffering, briefly and correctly processed, gives us pleasure and keeps us connected to the world around us.

Think, for example, of times in your life when you have been strong. Times when you had no choice but to be brave. It could have been an illness, a loss, or perhaps the worst disappointment in your life.

Overcoming the hard part of the internal, occasional heartbreaking journey strengthens your psychological muscles. Thanks to your inner strength, you now feel freer and better equipped to create and enjoy your own happiness.

Constructive pain: to manage it and quit it

In the beginning, we talked about how emotional suffering is interpreted by our brain as a real burn. However, this is not our own idea, or just a metaphor. In fact, it was proven in a study published in the ” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.” 

“If a person wanted for another person not to know pain, they would at the same time prevent the person’s knowledge of pleasure and reduce the same person to nothing.”
-Michel de Montaigne-

Neuroscience tells us that when someone says something like “the pain is in your head” , they are not mistaken. This is true because there is a very complex structure, the anterior cingular cortex, which does not distinguish between physical and mental pain. It’s all the same for this part of your brain. And that’s why emotional pain can be so devastating.

But if suffering is in our heads and controlled by our brains, then can we “turn it off? “The first thing that most people think of is pills. Well, remember that neither painkillers nor antidepressants are the answer. All they do is reduce the pain in the singular cortex, but they will never solve the underlying emotional problem.

Do not forget that pain is a cry for attention . It’s like a guy on the shore warning you that there’s a reef in front of you so you don’t bump into it. If you decide to hide in the boat as a blind passenger, you will not solve the problem. The reef will still be there.

So the only option is to change direction, raise your sails and take the helm of your life . Then you can look for calmer seas, more favorable currents and more hopeful winds.