Daniel Goleman’s Theory Of Emotional Intelligence

An ingenious brain and a high IQ are pretty useless if we do not understand empathy. If we cannot read our own feelings (and the feelings of others) and are strangers to our own heart. If we lack social skills that help us form bonds with others, deal with fear and be assertive…  Emotional intelligence is the true key to becoming happy. Whatever we like it or not. 

The debate over what intelligence is and what it is not seems to continue. Empirical evidence, for example, confirms the existence of Spearman’s “G” factor. It must be understood as a basic and essential foundation that defines all the behavior of intelligence.

We also have the triarchic theory from Robert J. Sternberg and of course Howard Gardner’s popular focus on several intelligences.

So, what is this so-called “emotional intelligence” by Daniel Goleman? You may be surprised to hear that the  essence of this idea has always been there throughout the history of psychology. 

Emotional intelligence over the years

Professor Goleman did not formulate the theory. He just made it popular in 1995 in his book  “Emotional Intelligence.” They have sold over five million copies.

For example, as early as the 1920s, Edward L. Thorndike described what he called “social intelligence.” It is the basic ability to understand and motivate other people. In the 1940s, David Weschsler stated that  no intelligence test would be valid if emotional aspects were not included. 

It was only later that Howard Gardner laid the foundation with the seventh of his intelligences, the so-called interpersonal intelligence. It is undoubtedly very similar to emotional intelligence.

But it was in  1985 that the concept of “emotional intelligence” first appeared. It was in Wayne Payne’s thesis  called  “A study of emotions: the development of emotional intelligence.” 

Just ten years later, the American psychologist and journalist, Daniel Goleman, began something that is still evolving today. It helps us understand how much power our emotions have over what we are, what we do and how we can relate to each other. 

Daniel Goleman and emotional intelligence

Daniel Goleman started as a journalist with the New York Times and is today the guru of emotional intelligence. He is now in his 70s, while his sincere smile and piercing gaze still powerfully hold our attention.

It’s as if he’s always been able to see beyond the rest of us. He sees all the details and finds connections where the rest of us only see cases.

He always says that  his passion for psychology came from his mother. She was a social worker specializing in psychiatry. She collected books on neuroscience,  the human mind and behavioral psychology. These books shaped his childhood and everyday life.

To begin with, they were little more than mysterious texts, which he read with great fascination. But later they became his motivation and a path towards who he is now: a central figure in social intelligence.

What exactly is emotional intelligence?

It is a way of looking beyond the cognitive aspects of intelligence (such as memory and problem solving).  We are mainly talking about our ability to deal effectively with others and ourselves. About connecting to our emotions, managing them, motivating ourselves, putting an end to impulses, overcoming frustration…

Goleman explains that there are four basic dimensions to his approach to emotional intelligence:

• The first is self-awareness. It refers to our ability to understand how we feel. To be connected with our values, with our essence.   
• The second aspect is self-motivation and our ability to orient ourselves towards our goals. To get us over defeat and deal with stress.
• The third has to do with social awareness and empathy.
• The fourth aspect is undoubtedly the stone of wisdom in emotional intelligence: our ability to relate, communicate, reach agreement, create positive and respectful connections with others.

Daniel Goleman describes in his books the need to be sufficient in all these four areas. Otherwise, for example, you get a person who is trained in emotional intelligence, but who has only gained self-awareness and lacks the ability to feel empathy with others. We should therefore look at these four areas as a whole.

Emotional intelligence can be learned and improved

In the books “ Emotional Intelligence ” (1995) and “ Social Intelligence ” (2006), Goleman explains that part of this ability, this capacity, must be found in our own epigenetics. So, it can be  activated and deactivated depending on the emotional and social environment we grow up in. 

But here is the true magic. Emotional intelligence also has something to do with the plasticity of our brain. Here stimuli, practice and systematic learning create changes and new connections. We can start by getting better at each of the four areas mentioned above.

Daniel Goleman also points out the need to raise children according to these aspects. But on the other hand, we know that in the adult world there is no shortage of seminars, books and other forms of training.

Selected items from emotional intelligence

It’s about willpower when it comes to living up to the key aspects that Professor Goleman writes about:

• We need to read the feeling behind all our actions.
• We need to expand our emotional language. Sometimes it’s not enough to say, “I’m sorry.” We need to be more specific. “I’m sorry because I feel disappointment, anger and confusion at the same time.”

• Check what you are thinking to control your behavior.
• Look for a reason behind the behavior of others to understand the views and feelings of others.
• Improve your social skills.
• Express your feelings in an assertive way.
• Learn to motivate yourself and fight for things that can bring you closer to happiness.

To conclude,  there is more to intelligence than IQ. And success depends on it all. We are talking here about personal success, where we create better contact with others, live in balance and harmony. We can feel adequate, free, happy and personally satisfied. It is an adventure!

References:

-Daniel Goleman (1996) Emotional Intelligence. Madrid: Cairo