Everyone Has A Refuge Where They Can Hide

In his book The Labyrinth of Spirits  , Carlos Ruíz Zafón said that “everyone who strives to maintain their sound judgment needs a place in the world where they can and want to disappear”. He describes this refuge as a place where one can feel safe. It is “a small annex for the soul, where one can always hide and throw away the key when the world sinks in its absurdity”.

This thought definitely gives us something to think about. On the one hand, it seems that we all have a small corner, a refuge or a safe area where we feel most protected. It can be a physical place, a place in the mind or a combination of both where there are physical objects but also memories and hope.

It is a place where only very few people are allowed to get close and no one has been completely inside. This is where you store the dreams you have only shared with very few people and also the ones you have not shared with anyone. The same goes for sources of pain.

Alicia Gris is the enigmatic protagonist of the Labyrinth of Spirits. She is an almost eternal inhabitant of this refuge, but at the same time she does not know much about what it contains.  Very little leaves this refuge. So her eyes are too tired to see the shapes of things that are in this place, or identify what defines it. Behind his security blanket hides a picture of an insecure person, like many people of flesh and fire. 

What’s in your refuge?

At these shelters we hide the scent of the people who have helped us. We store in very precious memories of those who help us every day and those who help us just because they want us to feel good. We also save on the things that we hold on to well in the most difficult moments, and small trophies of our greatest victories. We save for the people who have passed away and we will never see again and who we miss so much.

This getaway also hides the dreams we forgot on the shelf from when we were younger. These dreams are proof that there was a time when they were in our hands, but they are also proof that we did not pick them up again. There are also stacks of mixed “unspeakable fantasies”. They include the desire to let everything lie and really start living.

An excerpt from The Labyrinth of Spirits

– Are you okay Fermin?

-Like any angry bull.

-I never think I’ve seen you so mad.

-That’s what you choose to see.

Daniel was not incensed.

-What did you say? Are we okay then? What if I invite you to some drinks in El Xampanyet?

-Thank you Daniel, but today I say no.

-Do not you want to? Life is waiting for us!

Fermin smiled, and for the first time, Daniel realized that his old friend did not have a single hair left on his head that was not gray.

-For you Daniel. All that awaits me are memories.

Labyrinth of the Spirits by Carlos Ruíz Zafón –

Our refuge carries parts of us

The refuge also hides our fears; our most fragile and vulnerable parts. Those whom we have put into words, but who continue to frighten us, those whom we fear but dare not uncover. For it frightens us to discover the truth behind the lies.

We also store in the memories of the times when we were the worst version of ourselves. As well as the times we surpassed ourselves. When we think back to those times, we wonder how on earth we were able to do that since we are only a grain of sand in the universe.

At this refuge, we feel that there is a huge area, which is occupied by a large part of ourselves, which makes us feel that we are something very special. But we also feel small in relation to the extent of the universe, which gives us the feeling that we are interchangeable.

In this corner of ourselves lives one of our greatest paradoxes: that we are interchangeable and indispensable, even though we are unique.

A refuge that you pass through but do not stay at

If you spend too much time at this getaway, your eyes will be filled with a sea of ​​nostalgia. It will be almost impossible to navigate in. We will spend time on parts of the past and the future and completely eliminate the present where all our emotions actually are. People who spend way too much time at the getaway go through the day on autopilot and exhibit a sense of absence and distance.

All the positive things that sit on the shelves or are stacked up on the floor actually start to emit a sad smell. When we get here, our inner being completely disconnects from the image we present. Because the more time we spend in this place, the harder it is for someone to get close to us. So they are taking more and more distance from us.

Positive use of our refuge

So what can we do to ensure that this refuge does not flood us with negative emotions?

• Do not disconnect from what is happening around you. If you need it, take a few days to read the news or watch TV. But do not let go of the people who love you.
• If you feel misunderstood, try to get people to understand you rather than distance yourself from them. The only distance that will do is increase the feeling of being misunderstood.
• Always have short-term goals. Adapt them to your stress tolerance, but always have at least one project that can satisfy you.

• Pay attention to where you stand, not only physically but also mentally. As you enter your refuge, notice the time. Do not allow yourself to stay too long. Balance the amount of time you spend alone and the amount of time you spend with others.

As you can see, this refuge can save you in many cases. But it can also be the worst trap to fall into. My recommendation is to enjoy it as much as possible while you are there, but not reduce your life to what exists within the four walls. Whether it is genuine or fictitious.