It Is Not Easy To Give Good Care

Somehow your parents suddenly can’t do everything on their own. The people who have always been invincible are now in the phase of life we ​​call old age and you need to take care of them and take care of them. Suddenly you see yourself taking responsibility that you did not want. Responsibilities you never thought you would take on.

But you love them and they have given you so much. How could you not take care of them now that they need you?

After all the sacrifices they have made to give you a good life… The truth is that you get worried and frustrated about having to be in this situation. Does that mean you are a bad daughter or son?

“Help a man ease his burden, but do not help him put it down.”
–Pythagoras–

Stress by providing care

Finding yourself immersed in the task of caring for someone who cannot be alone can mean lots of stress.

On the one hand , we face a loved one who is no longer who they used to be. We see how the problems continue to emerge. Behavior and memory problems and also physical and mental impairment.

And then we have to keep an eye on them all the time. We need to control their food intake and personal hygiene.

And all this is not so pleasant, so we get annoyed at having to do it. So we do it apathetically, and really, just not that well.

And the stress does not stop just by caring and providing care. It also extends to other areas of our lives. We may also have work-related, financial, relationship-related or family problems.

The cost of providing care

An increase in stress can produce emotional, social and physical problems for the caregiver.

It is normal for there to be negative emotions like anxiety, anger or sadness. Or even a sense of guilt over feeling the situation is too much for us.

Guilty of wanting to be somewhere else that does not involve providing care. These things collide with our moral obligations to care for our elderly family members.

“Asking for help in times of need, even if it is a little, helps a lot.”
–Mateo Alemán–

On the other hand, it can also undermine our relationship. Whether it’s from not having time to be with other people, or by creating conflicts when we let it all go beyond them. Then the downward spiral really begins.

On the physical level, there are endless problems that can arise. From various psychophysiological disorders (i.e., physical illnesses caused or exacerbated by emotional and psychological factors) to problems related to the actual act of caring for someone, such as moving them from one place to another.

What can help us ease the burden of caring?

In today’s world, there are many people who take care of their elderly family members. Why do we not all suffer from the psychological, social and physical problems we have been looking at?

Because everyone’s resources and situations are enormously different, just like with any other psychological disorder.

Strategies for confronting stress are extremely important, to protect us from wear and tear. For it does not matter so much what happens, but more what we do and how we face it.

As for that, it will not help us to feel sorry for ourselves over how bad we are getting, or try to avoid the situation…

“There is a wonderful energy that comes when we help someone.”
-Mary Lou Cook-

Instead, it is more beneficial to seek the best solution and act on it, without being afraid that we will fail. You know who’s not making mistakes? And do not you remember that this is how we learn?

But besides how a person manages the situation, we must not forget another great source of help. We are talking about social support.

Pull on your other relationships, ask for help with different tasks, gain understanding and love … It can really ease your burden. Take care of yourself so you can take care of others!

Photos by Jake Thacker, JD Mason and Cathal Mac An Bheatha.