Let’s Pretend We’m Happy Until We Are

Let us pretend that all good things will embrace us and make us happy, because then it will reach us. Let us pretend we are already happy so that our emotions can convince us that we are. We must believe, with great conviction every single day, that we deserve what we long for and that it is not a form of selfishness, but rather a step towards personal growth.

Let’s think about it for a moment. We need to convince ourselves that we can and we need to get out of our depression. Or an unhappy relationship or job that violates our rights. Because there is no one else who will do it.
The true hero who has helped you out of black holes has been yourself.  And the way you have managed to do that has been with an iron will and with your goals in mind.

In fact, it is normal to see jobs, books, and interesting articles that encourage us to become the CEO  of our own brain. They emphasize that we all need to understand how our brain works. So we can take better control of its process.

If there is one thing that we have known for a very long time, it is that humans are complex beings. They are controlled and dominated by our emotions. Our brain takes control. Directs us and makes us full on dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. And sometimes it shuts down completely during this shipwreck of chemicals that drown us in a permanent state of despair and defenselessness.

But sometimes it is also necessary to rebel against the CEO of our brain. Take control and direct ourselves towards change, towards well-being, towards becoming happy. We will explain how it is done. 

Emotional kidnapping prevents us from growing and being happy

Overcoming the negative tendency of our brain to promote positive neuroplasticity is not easy. First of all, it is not easy because many of us have a “leading director” in our brain. One who is dependent on self-criticism and has a great influence, time and again sticks to the same perceptions and limiting attitudes. It makes us a little hamster running around and around inside the wheel.

Many experts in human behavior call this general practice “child logic.” That is, there are moments when we allow our emotions to kidnap us. Until we reach a point of complete immaturity. To understand this better, reflect on this simple example. We have made a mistake in the workplace. And as a result, there are others who suffer from it. 

Our thoughts do not stop saying over and over again, “I am an idiot. I’m not good enough for this. ” At the same time, the brain escalates it all by reminding us of the mistakes of the past. And all the times someone has told you how clumsy you are.

Your emotions catch you like a hamster wheel, where the negative emotions get worse until you get blocked. Until you sink into an emotional state of complete defenselessness. Instead of telling yourself, “I made a mistake, I want to learn from it and do better next time.” Then you choose to use the phrase: “I am an idiot” about yourself. 

This kind of negative inclination is what characterizes us in the moments that are directed by very concrete processes. It is our mood that takes control.

So in order to make ourselves the real CEO of our brain, we need to take control of our mental processes. We must become the true leaders and not subordinates who allow ourselves to be trampled on. We must be responsible for being happy.

Convince yourself that you can do well

Neuroscience helps us understand why we sometimes allow ourselves to be torn away by our emotions. For example, a hyperactive almond nucleus in the brain likes to push us up a nook again and again in connection with our fears.  According to recent studies from Havard University, the cerebellum, which is closely linked to our motor skills, may also be linked to our emotional stability.

As you can see, our brain is a unit. A unit where emotions have power. And many times the mental processes move based on these. Having a passive attitude to these cases can encourage neglect.  And a clear incapacity in being responsible for our own happiness.

Later, we look at how to develop a positive neuroplasticity that is useful and that helps us achieve our goals.

Four questions that can help us build a better resilient brain

To convince ourselves that we are happy until, we are . Is it a fantasy taken from a cheap self-help manual? No, not really. This belief includes profound internal mechanisms, which we can reflect on with the following four simple questions:

• “Am I really that?” Sometimes you can tell yourself that you are an idiot. That you do not deserve to be loved, that you are a failure or that you do not have the abilities to achieve your dreams. Then ask yourself if this is really true. By taking full control of our thoughts, we can tell ourselves, “Right now I feel like an idiot, but I can improve myself and become the person I deserve to be.”
• Who or what is stopping me from achieving what I most want? When we ask ourselves that question, we must be completely honest with ourselves. For the most part, we only have to hold ourselves accountable because we limit ourselves.
• What kind of feelings am I feeling right now?
• Does this feeling help give me what I want?

The last two questions have a lot in common. If I’m scared and insecure all the time, then it’s clear I’ll never get out of the black hole I’m in. Doors will open with new opportunities day by day. If I try to convince myself that I am strong, competent and I deserve what I long for. Then we will be able to feel happy and perfect.