My Love For You Goes Beyond Attachment And Fear Of Loneliness

I love you as I love the stars in the sky. I know they are not mine, but they give light to my life and my dreams. I like you because my world seems more whole with you by my side- Because you fit into my corners. Because you are painting paths to create the maps I want to travel and I choose to share it with you.

This is love without attachment . A relationship without blind addiction, where each member is able to respect the space. The relationship is enriching and reciprocal.

Love should give you happiness and give you the opportunity to discover the best of yourself every day. If all it gives you is sadness and suffering, then it is not love, it is addiction. If it fills you with excessive jealousy, fear and obsession, then it’s attachment.

Sometimes the word “attachment” evokes disagreement . We can not deny that love for someone involves being with that person all the time. B care about them, thinking about their face, their voice, their essence all the time.

There is a bit of obsession and need that comes with love, which is normal, especially in the beginning. But we are talking about attachment in its full meaning. The kind where we lose our own identite t and inner balance over that person.

The kind where we do not leave room for the individual’s personal growth and freedom. This is where suspicions arise, and even a need for control.

Emotional attachment is a very destructive type of addiction

It is not an exaggeration to draw parallels between emotional attachment and addiction. Think of blind passion where you have to have the person you love with you at all times. And when you do not have them by your side, your world crumbles. You begin to be suspicious of them and you develop a need to control your partner. It is dangerous.

Wishing someone is not bad or dangerous. Desire gives life emotions, purpose, pleasure . The risk starts when the desire is transformed into necessity. This is when the attachment develops. When you lose control of yourself because you think you can not live without the other person.

It is important to be able to live without the other person. We cannot turn into ships that have been lost at sea when our partner leaves our side for a few days. If there is trust, there is no reason to develop such immense fear.

We should learn to live by ourselves and feel whole, safe and satisfied with who we are. Only then can we establish a healthy romantic relationship, without any negative attachment . Love them, but do not need them. Share with them, but never give them everything without expecting the least recognition in return.

We must experience a positive attachment in childhood to create bonds with our parents. This gives us security and the opportunity to grow up, feel loved and recognized. After this stage, it is our turn to construct our own identities, personalities and integrity. Here we will feel safe with ourselves, who we are and what we have achieved.

If you feel good about yourself, if you see yourself as a confident and happy person with a good self-esteem, you will be able to build a stable and good relationship with someone else.

You do not need other people to fill in your blanks because you do not have any. You do not need anyone to remove your fears because they are healthy . You do not need someone to relieve your loneliness because you are not alone.

Exercise detachment or avoid co-dependent relationships

Love is not worth anything to us if we understand it as suffering. It is not worth anything to us if it fills us with the fear of being abandoned or betrayed. Or with the need to trust the other person to the point that we become puppets without our own identity.

Do not dilute yourself in the other person. Do not do anything for them for such a high price that you end up falling away like a shell of a person who has lost their soul . Conquer your attachment addiction and fight addictive relationships.

We know these ideas are easy to read and understand, but it does not change the fact that even if you know, you can still fall into this type of relationship. When it comes to love, no one is in control.  But when you fall into this type of situation, it is your responsibility to know how to react when you realize what has happened.

Emotional release does not mean you have to break ties

The time will come to put emotional freedom into practice so that you can go free, more secure, wiser and be able to love with integrity and without fear.

Allowing our partners personal growth will help us to be a more emotional and nuanced person who will enrich the relationship in itself.

We should understand that practicing emotional liberation is not the same as breaking ties. On the contrary, you respect yourself. You maintain complete trust where you can let the other person be because you know they love you. Because you love and trust the person who chooses to be with you, for who you are, and not just to avoid their own loneliness.

Separation does not mean that you have no right to love, want or hope for any of your whole heart and soul . It simply means that no one owns anyone. If someone owns you, they control you, and if they control you, it means they do not allow you to be yourself.

Being free on the inside is not incompatible with creating love. It’s leaving room to let passion feed you. Without need and fear and offer the best of yourself to the other person.

Pictures of Babs tarr, Lauri Blank