Narcissism In A Relationship: Are You Dating A Narcissist?

Contrary to many people’s beliefs, narcissists can fall in love just like everyone else. But when there is narcissism in a relationship, the anxiety and fear can be felt. This is because their love is like a lasso being tightened day by day. Little by little you lose your rights, your will and even your voice.

You probably know someone who seems to be a “magnet” for narcissists. Or maybe you think it about yourself. Why? Is there an explanation for why you can not identify narcissists and prevent bad experiences? Some theories claim that people who are more sensitive and empathetic are generally those who feel attracted to narcissists.

Maybe it’s because these two personality types somehow gain a mutual benefit. However, it is important to note that there is no conclusive data on this claim. Narcissists tend to be charismatic and charming to begin with; it is extremely easy to fall into their trap.

Narcissists usually look extremely friendly and lively to begin with. They have a good sense of humor and they are very intelligent and confident. Their outgoing charm makes a big impression on people.

That said, their true selves lurk beneath the surface. After all, narcissists are almost incapable of creating positive, emotional bonds with other people.

Narcissism in a relationship: Good advice

The way narcissism manifests itself in a relationship can vary. There are two common options: The first is when both people are narcissists. The second possibility is that one person is clearly behaving in a harmful and destructive way towards others. We need to take a closer look at both of these possibilities.

When both people are selfish

Before we dive deeper into it, it is important to distinguish between narcissistic behavior and narcissistic personality disorder. The latter is a clinical condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders .

Sometimes two people with this disorder end up together in a romantic relationship. It’s unusual, but it can happen. Another thing that sometimes happens in a relationship is the following:

• You put your own needs before your boyfriend’s needs.
• You feel a need for control, or you waver between the desire to be close to your partner and to have distance.

What happens when both partners are narcissistic? Their ties are basically built over an abyss, which they will at some point fall into.

There are some couples who do not love each other anymore but who are still not able to end the relationship in a healthy way. Instead, they feel apathetic, indifferent and dependent. They do not want to let go of something that was once “theirs”.

My partner is a narcissist – what should I do?

There is usually only one narcissist in a relationship. In time, the other person will get to know his partner’s true self. This is where the blinders disappear and one begins to understand what it means to be in a romantic relationship with a narcissist.

Decision making

Livesley, Jang, Jackson, and Vernon cite a study showing that 64% of cases of a narcissistic personality disorder are genetic; therefore, it is difficult to change.

Likewise, people with this personality type will fall somewhere on a spectrum. Some narcissists are quite violent, while others exhibit only a few narcissistic traits.

Here are some important things to keep in mind:

• Do not doubt yourself. When you realize that there is narcissism in a relationship, there are only two options: react or learn to live with emotional deficiency. If you do the latter, you will constantly doubt yourself, your self-esteem and your identity.
• Fractures and reconciliations. Are they really worth it? When your partner is a narcissist, you live on a seesaw of breakups and reconciliations. At some point, you may find the strength to end the relationship. But narcissists are extremely good at screwing up the charm and getting you back. Think about what it means for your dignity.
• They need you to validate their self-esteem. But what about yours? Since narcissists do not have a central ego, they need someone else to establish and strengthen their self-image. They get confirmation with the help of others. Think about whether it is really worth it. Spend time thinking about where you see yourself in 5-10 years.

Conclusion on narcissism in a relationship

The best advice we can give you if your partner is a narcissist is to walk away from them. But this is a very personal decision, and if you say that narcissists cannot be good partners, it’s a bit like saying that no one can change or do anything about their personality.

It is best to assess the individual case. It is always dangerous to generalize. Not all cases are alike, and not all narcissists are alike.

There are some psychological strategies that can help people with a narcissistic personality disorder. An example is talk therapy. But changing narcissism is a complicated process, while most narcissists refuse to go into therapy.

Narcissism in a relationship is therefore something that requires a lot of time and energy. But if you find yourself in this situation, prioritize change and take care of yourself. Prioritize your well-being and your integrity.