Self-destructive Forms Of Behavior In Relationships
What are the most self-destructive forms of behavior in romantic relationships? Find out the answer to this question in the article here!
Romantic relationships typically involve a bond between two people. This ribbon is something one has to cultivate every day. This means that you are very much around each other, which can lead to conflicts. However, if one or both parties have self-destructive forms of behavior, it can end up ruining the relationship.
Dr. John Gottman is one of the pioneers in the study of romantic relationships. After studying countless couples for several years, he claims that there are some clear patterns of self-destructive behavior that can accurately predict whether a relationship is going to break down.
However, there are some conditions that seem to be good. It is related to a number of specific ingredients and behavioral patterns that can help predict how long a relationship will last and how good it will be. No matter what type of relationship it is, there has to be respect, love, trust and communication.
If you find yourself in a relationship with these ingredients, you will probably love it. Although you may have occasional discussions or conflicts, it will not make the boat tilt too much. On the other hand, if you feel that one of these ingredients is missing, you may need to try to work on these aspects with your partner.
Self-destructive forms of behavior in a relationship
As we have mentioned above, some self-destructive patterns of behavior may predict that a relationship will not last. In this article, we will talk about those that are particularly relevant and directly affect the basic pillars that hold any healthy relationship together: Respect, love, trust and communication.
Contempt
Feeling contempt for your partner means that you consider him or her to be inferior to you. It can also lead to other forms of behavior, such as humiliation, criticism, insult or simply not showing your partner respect.
If someone behaves that way towards you, quite often, the honest truth is that that person does not really love you. In this scenario, you have to ask yourself whether you should stay in the relationship or not.
Ignoring
This is one of the most self-destructive forms of behavior that exists. Ignoring your partner when you have a discussion means turning a blind eye to the fact that the person you are supposed to love needs communication and to feel supported.
It can make a person feel extremely humiliated if one is ignored. In the long run, it ends up affecting the person’s self-esteem. The person may even begin to believe that he or she does not deserve his or her partner’s attention because he or she has done something wrong.
Destroy their individuality
If you are in a relationship with a partner who tells you who you should be, what you should like and who you should be friends with, among other things, that person is trying to ruin your individuality.
When you love someone, you accept them, for who they are. Therefore, if your partner is trying to change you, he or she will not really love you.
Self-destructive forms of behavior: Independence
It is really important to be aware of coherent behavior. Some people cannot get out of a relationship because they feel they need the other person. They would rather accept constant criticism and indifference instead of being alone.
But it also acts as reinforcement towards the other partner because he or she sees how much the other person is dependent on him or her. It is one of the most self-destructive forms of behavior that exists and it can be devastating to a relationship.
Never to make an effort
You should always be sincere with your partner and be who you really are when you are with him or her. But there are also times when you need to be able to give yourself.
For example, if your partner wants you to come to an event, you should make an effort, even when you really do not feel like it or do not find it interesting. Your partner should do the same for you. That way, you both show each other that you love each other.
Why do people stay in a toxic relationship?
People often find themselves in self-destructive behaviors for far too long. However, you need to keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes once in a while. It is therefore good if you are flexible and tolerant of your partner.
The problem starts when it becomes a recurring problem and something that defines your relationship. Stop and think about how you want to draw yourselves together. Do you want to hold hands? Kissing? Quarrel? The image that comes to mind will say a lot about what you really think about your relationship.
If you notice even small signs of toxicity in your partner, you need to weigh the pros and cons and be ready to get out of the relationship if really necessary.
In most cases, people have a hard time looking up because they are afraid of being alone. People tend to think that they end up being completely alone, even when there are lots of people around them to provide support.
Break with self-destructive forms of behavior and certain thought patterns
People may resort to certain thought patterns to trick themselves into staying with their partner. A few common examples are: “I’m sure he will change” or “If I break up with her, I’m sure she’s going to find someone else who’s better for her.”
You have to try to ignore that kind of thought. They are just a product of your deep fear of rejection and being alone.
The best thing you can do is stop deceiving yourself and see things in an objective way. Observe your relationship. When you do, you can try to make a firm decision to stay in the relationship or end it.
