Self-esteem: The Dance Of Self-love
To understand what self-esteem is, we must understand that the mind functions as a mirror. It reflects everything our senses capture, in a very specific way. It perceives everything as a piece of a puzzle that has to fit together in some way.
The mind is content when it is able to make everything fit together and it can get a little upset when it is not possible. This particular mirror also perceives an image of the people around us and in extension of ourselves. This image of ourselves is nothing but our self-esteem.
Think of self-esteem as a dance performed by our senses as we construct the puzzle of something greater: love for ourselves, for what is depicted and drawn with every little movement we make.
Why is self-esteem important?
The answer is simple: because self-esteem is present in everything we do. As a chef who adds a magical secret ingredient to his recipes, we add self-esteem to our actions. The way we look at ourselves will meet the goals we choose to strive for and how we treat other people.
So if we have a low self-esteem, we will go for goals that are clearly below our potential. And the opportunities to leave our comfort zone will shrink, which also hurts our potential.
Low self-esteem can also affect our relationships with other people. It is a source of reluctance and makes us fear being confident. It makes us feel and act as if we are inferior to other people.
It also causes us to develop negative thoughts. You may have experienced the following scenario at some point: A person receives a reward that they deserve, but nonetheless, you can see in their eyes that they do not think they deserve it. Having a negatively biased image of ourselves keeps us from enjoying our accomplishments and thus from celebrating those we deserve.
What characterizes a healthy self-esteem?
Healthy self-esteem means being vulnerable. We do not need to protect our self-image if its foundation is strong. We do not have to hide behind a shell of restraint or shyness, nor egocentrism or submission. A healthy self-esteem is not closely limited, because it develops and grows with us.
Moreover , a healthy self-esteem is free from the blindness and competitiveness that comes with egocentrism. It is vulnerable so that one’s emotions can be what they really are so they can form part of one’s being. It places equal emphasis on successes and failures, and it takes into account intent.
A healthy self-esteem creates love, generosity and enthusiasm, because through it we see that we all have something valuable to give. Something that can help our family, friends, community or the whole world. Finally, because we are aware of the value we have, we allow ourselves to accept the recognition of others, and perhaps even give it to ourselves.
How can we develop good self-esteem?
The relationship between self-esteem and the rest of the elements of our lives is two-way. The same things that promote good self-esteem also help it grow and stay strong.
Choosing the right challenges that we want to take on – so that we can maximize our strengths and improve our weaknesses – can be the first step. These challenges should not be too big or too small; they should require effort, but not a great sacrifice.
If we feel that we are very far away from achieving our goals, it is a good idea to set smaller intermediate goals that will give us satisfaction when we achieve them. It is also good to add alternative activities to the mix because they will be a good way to escape temporarily when we experience a setback.
Second, keep moving. Get healthy and let your body unfold and move as it was meant to. When we do, we shake our thoughts so that gravity does the work of unraveling them.
An important note on the subject of exercise : becoming obsessed with our self-image will not help us in any way. But taking care of it and feeling the satisfaction of a good look can help our self-esteem.
Our self-image vs. others’ image
As we said at the beginning, there is a parallel of images in our minds. Continuing with this topic, we have seen how unique and different the image of our self-esteem is.
This reflection, self-esteem, gives us not only an idea of who we are, but also of how we look to other people. And this is where the paradox comes in; It is precisely our friends, family, enemies and acquaintances who determine the angle at which we place ourselves in front of the mirror.
Knowing how to measure their opinions and give them the necessary meaning will be the last – and perhaps most important – factor in having good self-esteem. Carefully considering the relevance of external feedback will fertilize the field where your self-esteem can cultivate strong roots and vulnerable skin.
