The Beauty Of Repairing Broken Self-love

You have probably heard the expression that self-love is the basis for accomplishing anything in life. And that’s true. Self-love is like a magic key that opens all the doors of life. Therefore, one should strive to repair broken self-love.

It helps you to refrain from or overcome depression, addictions, relationship problems, family conflicts, work problems and much more.

Self-love is the greatest of human emotions. There is no doubt about that. The problem is that if you have experienced difficult things, such as a hard childhood, abuse, harassment and similar situations,  it is more difficult for you to understand how self-love can become more than just a good idea.

To put it bluntly,  you have a strong self-love if you came into this world as a result of your parents wanting you to exist. You should have had an emotionally stable mother, united with your father’s love. Their relationship should have been stable, at least during your early childhood. Is this the case for you?

Many of you are guaranteed to say no. Maybe you do not even know why you were conceived. Maybe you could say many things about your parents, but being emotionally stable is not one of them. Maybe your childhood had good times, but also lots of problems, abuse and great trauma. Maybe that’s why self-love seems like a fantasy. Something beautiful, yes, but also unattainable. Many experience rather ruined self-love.

No one can give or deprive us of our self-love

It is enormously tempting to blame others for what is happening to us. And the list of culprits usually starts with our parents. If they had just done it now… Or stopped doing it… We would be so much different if they had been better!

But have you ever asked yourself what your parents’ story was like? How were their parents towards them? Is it really valid to reject all the generations that came before us?

It is quite normal for parents with low self-esteem to pass it on to their children. It is never their intention, but they could not give what they did not have themselves.

The same thing probably happened to their parents. The chain continues for an eternity. Until someone decides to stop the cycle and close the wound. Therapy can be incredibly helpful in this situation, but there are other methods as well.

No matter which path you choose, it is valid as long as it leads to self-love. But the best way to start out is to stop blaming others. It takes a lot of courage. And it will be quite uncomfortable. But at the same time, it’s how you break the strongest link in the chain. The joint that keeps you from getting over broken self-love.

See the value in the little things, in all the details, to repair broken self-love

Perhaps you have fantasized about winning an important prize, such as a Nobel Prize. You have imagined how it would help on broken self-love and make you stronger. Or if someone discovers you and you get a title as an undiscovered genius.

Or if they love you through thick and thin. Or if everyone appreciates you and throws everything they have in their hands to listen to you.

Fantasies that include great self-praise are common in people who have destroyed self-love. They tend to think that small successes do not matter.

What they do not understand is that every great victory is the result of a huge effort and many small successes. It is the small steps that give a person enough strength to continue towards the goal.

Great human successes are all based on perseverance. Persistence is a trait found only in a heart where self-love also lives.

A great effort requires great will. And when self-esteem is low, the will is the first victim. Do you now understand that it is a vicious cycle?

Herein lies the importance of learning to see the value in small successes. Do not overlook the small things that you did well today. Do not look down on your efforts, no matter how small or large.

Sometimes getting through the day itself is a victory in itself. If you can do it, acknowledge it. Fight the little voice that insists on criticizing everything. You must learn to value yourself.