The Best Ways To Handle Criticism

Every day we face criticism. It is very common, but it is still difficult for us to get used to it. It’s always hard to accept,  especially when it comes from people we care about.

Criticism is inevitable

Acceptance is the first step. If we do not realize that criticism is normal, our frustration will kill us. There will always be someone who says something negative about us. So unless we live on an island away from the rest of humanity.

At the same time, we must also accept that we (some more than others)  have done the same at another time. Maybe innocent or in a more destructive way. Maybe we did it because others did too. But we have to accept that we sometimes criticize others. Other times it is us who are criticized.

Practice patience

Patience requires the use of all our resources to maintain peace.  This is done by not being impulsive and by staying calm. Letting your immediate emotions cool down so you can analyze the situation and act more rationally.

These tools, among others, include  taking a deep breath and keeping quiet  for a while (perhaps by counting). One can also  focus on something else,  such as a picture or a nice memory for example. This exercise will make the problems seem simpler. It will prevent us from aggravating the situation by saying or doing the first thing that comes to us. It’s definitely the smartest way. 

Learn to forgive

We can always find people who will hurt us. Sometimes they are toxic people, but in many other cases, they do not actually hurt us on purpose. Whatever the reason, disappointment and pain are inevitable in our relationships with others. 

If we are not able to forgive, then the negative emotions will accumulate to the point where it may be impossible for us to be happy. We cannot change the world and make it perfect, but we can change ourselves. 

To forgive the past  means to accept what has happened and let go of it. It involves making some things past and not letting them affect the present.

Although it is not easy to do, it is the best thing for us because it is such that we can move forward.

To recognize different kinds of criticisms

Not all criticism comes from the same place. Someone might well criticize us fairly  because we have done something inappropriate. The person is just trying to be honest and help us. This would be considered fair and constructive criticism because it is a method of improvement. 

Destructive criticism on the other hand is given in bad faith. The purpose is to do harm. It may be based on lies or certain information about our personality that is exaggerated or distorted. This is typically the result of envy and hatred.

What do you do with fair criticism?

When we receive constructive criticism, even if we do not like it,  then we must look at it as something positive. We will start a quarrel if we become defensive by denying the situation. Or even by attacking the other person with more criticism.

The solution is to be brave and rational. We must  sincerely accept the criticism by realizing our mistakes and proposing a solution. “Yes, it’s true enough what you say. I fully understand that. I had not seen it that way until you designated it for me. From now on, I will do my best to change my attitude. ”

What to do with destructive criticism?

This is the hardest part to face. This kind of criticism can provoke quarrels. So if we respond again, it could escalate to a swarm of insults.  We may end up damaging our image externally and gaining nothing but unhappiness.  

In these situations, it is recommended to be patient and show indifference. Do not go to the doctor just because. The other person is out to hurt us. If we put up one shield so that the other does not affect us, then we can win the game.

Most often, it is people with low self-esteem who envy us for who we are or what we have achieved.

Criticism is one of their ways of expressing envy, and it is an attempt to tear ours down. Just keep in mind that if someone tries to criticize you that way, then it must mean you are doing something good.

What if the critic is us?

When it’s us who criticize,  the first step is to think about our behavior. Why do we do that? Is it because our friends are criticizing and we’re trying to be a part of the conversation? Is it because we are jealous? Or is it because we are ashamed of our shortcomings and we want to show that others are wrong too?

Reflection will help us change that. It is never too late to improve or change what we do not like about ourselves. Showing empathy and learning how we see things from the perspective of others is an exercise that will undoubtedly improve our well-being.

To avoid criticism

Criticism is no doubt so intertwined with our society that it would be naive to think that we can avoid it altogether. But  by making small changes in our lives,  then we can  get rid of its negative effects. 

Learn to accept constructive criticism and use it as a springboard for improvement. Ignore unfair criticism and stay away from the toxic people who use it. Avoid criticizing others negatively as much as possible, and do not take part in conversations where others are criticized. You will no doubt improve your serenity and you will be able to live a quiet and happy life. 

Pictures of Chichi Huang