The More You Do For Others, The Less They Do Themselves

The more you do for other people, the happier you feel (or so you think). You offer them your help, and if it is in your hands to alleviate some of their ailments, then it is even better. But sometimes your will to make things easier for other people does not end up fulfilling you. Contrary to what you expected, the more you do for others, the more disappointed you will feel.

You can not save anyone. Only they can save themselves.

Life is not easy and there are many difficult moments we have to deal with. But these moments make us stronger and wiser. They allow us to mature and know ourselves better. If we did not have the opportunity to review them, we would not grow any more. But in relation to the people you love the most, you will suffer for them, to always lend them a hand. You would even take their place if you could. But you can not.

Do not run away from yourself

The more you do for other people, the more you deviate from yourself, probably for several reasons. You will not face your problems so you focus on other people. All the help you need you give to other people. All the love and support that you ask for but do not receive, you offer selflessly.

You may have noticed that you are projecting your needs onto others. Instead of taking care of your own needs, you run away from them. But how can you offer help to other people if you do not know how to give it to yourself? How can you give love if you can not love yourself? To be generous with others, you need to be generous with yourself first. You cannot offer something that you have not nurtured in yourself, even if you think you can.

You may not be aware that you are making a few mistakes that affect both you and others. For example, you will not be able to establish healthy relationships if you give everything and forget yourself.

Above all, take care of yourself

To take care of others, one must first take care of oneself. You aim to support the people you love, to lift them up once they have become tough, to be a source of motivation for them once they have exhausted all other options. But how can you do that if you can not do it yourself? Doing so will ruin you.

Do not develop dependent relationships. You want other people to depend on you being okay, but maybe it’s you who depends on them. This will never result in a healthy relationship. Addiction causes much more harm than you think.

Make yourself your first priority. You can not help anyone if you also have problems to solve. Put yourself before others. It is important to recognize this because you tend to give and give without having sufficient strength for it.

Other people have the power to choose. The more you do for others, the less they do for themselves

Sometimes, the more you do for others, the more you limit their power to self-choice. In a way, they have surrendered to your advantage. They have stopped fighting for their dreams because they want to be okay and now all this responsibility falls on you. But is it not enough to fight for yourself? You live for two, three or more people.

Even if your friend suffers, it is up to them to choose whether to stay in the stormy situation or not. All you can do is listen to them, offer your perspective if they ask for it and be there when they need you. But you can never make decisions for them, tell them what to do or suffer for them.

There is no destiny

Our decisions set the course for the rest of our lives. There is no predetermined destiny; We rather create it based on our decisions. If someone else makes your decisions for you, it is not your way anymore and as the human being you are, you will end up giving it up.

Therefore, you have not received anything in return from the people you have given yourself to, which is why they did not act as expected. You wanted some kind of gratitude, but you did not realize that you have become involved in a life that is not yours. No one will give you a medal to fight the fights of others.

Although it hurts to see someone suffer, it is sometimes necessary for them to go through it.

It is definitely easier for someone else to mark the path so you can follow in their footsteps. But this attitude does not help you in any way. We learn from our mistakes, from the people who have hurt us, from all the experiences that have defined us. If we were not to go through all that, then how could we appreciate a friend’s trust? How would we appreciate that the road to success is full of curves and gaps?

Every time you feel tempted to take the reins of the lives of others, remember that if you do, the other person will stop fighting for themselves. They no longer have to deal with difficult situations or learn from what is happening to them. You want to make everything easier, but that’s not how real life is. Instead of doing them a favor, you’re just pushing them into a fictional world.

Pictures of Diaria Petrilli