The Psychological Burden Of Guilt

Being aware of the fact that you have done something wrong is a step in the right direction. However, it also means that you bear the psychological burden of guilt. And you may find that this is not easy to get out of. You can fix it, but not if you try to avoid it or explain it away.

Only people with severe psychiatric disorders do not feel guilty. These people have no conscience. Therefore, when they hurt someone, they consider it normal or even necessary. But a mentally fast person feels guilt. Therefore, if you feel guilty, it is a sign that you are mentally healthy.

However, there are different types of guilt and not all are affected in the same way. For example, there are mistakes that might make you feel a little uncomfortable, but you know full well that you have not caused any real harm.

On the other hand, there are times when it can seriously affect you if you have hurt someone. And then you feel a psychological burden.

The psychological burden of guilt

Everyone has hurt another human being at some point, even if it has not been on purpose. No one has so much self-control that they have never done anything wrong. It could be because of your behavior, attitude or how you treat others. You are not born emotionally mature and you usually learn to become this through your mistakes.

The feeling of guilt is not so much related to what you have done. It’s more about your view of the situation itself. Some people may be incredibly remorseful at the slightest mistake, while others more easily deal with big mistakes.

Guilt also affects the outcome of the situation, your relationship with the person you have hurt, as well as the current circumstances. If the situation has had major consequences and continues for a long time, the psychological burden can be very heavy.

Additionally, if the person you have hurt is someone you care about, it can be even more difficult to deal with that guilt. This may be because the consequences of your action cannot be reversed or the other person is no longer around you.

Types of guilt

Hurting someone can lead to two different types of guilt. First, there is the normal guilt. This is characterized by the fact that you understand the damage you have caused,  its consequences and what moral rules you have broken by your actions.

This could be, for example, if you said something hurtful and then regretted it when you realized it was not fair to the other person.

The second type is pathological guilt, which is not quite as straightforward. Sometimes you are not aware of the damage you have caused. Yet it weighs on your subconscious. This can result in self-harm or shame. You may feel suspicious or scared. The result is that guilt takes root as the feeling that you will be punished but do not know exactly how.

Pathological guilt can become an elusive obstacle in your life that overshadows everything you do. The paradox is that you can end up unconsciously longing for the punishment, and in that way already punishing yourself without being able to see it.

How to get over the psychological burden of guilt?

Forgiving yourself is a fundamental process of good mental health. However, it is not quite as simple as simply saying “I forgive myself”. It is a process that requires you to acknowledge the harm you have caused and its consequences.

You can not just leave it and move on. You will need to investigate the circumstances surrounding how it happened. Why did you not act in the right and proper way? What held you back? What were the surrounding psychological circumstances? Why was it not possible for you to act differently?

Hurting others is often associated with immaturity, weakness, or incorrect beliefs. It can also be linked to impulsive behavior due to lack of self-control or disagreements that cannot be handled properly in the situation. It is always important to try to be a good person and remember that you are only human.